What Made Me Call My Ex In The Middle of the Night?
How a 15 second call sparked my path from heartbreak to healing
When Sam left me, it wasn’t just a breakup; it was like losing a part of me that I knew I would never get back. We had something pure, something genuine, which is why when suspicions of cheating crept into our relationship, it just ended us. We fell apart so quickly, and if you’re curious about how you can explore that story in my previous article, “What Ended My Relationship in 3 Minutes”.
Sam was my first love, and losing him left me not knowing how to handle all the feelings that came afterward. I always found myself stuck in thoughts of him, day and night. Especially at night, loneliness would hit me the hardest because that used to be our time. We’d be together; if we weren’t, we’d fall asleep over video calls, staying connected until one of us would start snoring.
A Desperate Call into the Night
My days after the breakup blurred into a continuous loop of what-ifs and memories of Sam. I’d find myself gazing at the phone, our old photos, and messages, wondering how love so deep could end in such a manner. That night was different, though.
The memories stabbed a bit deeper, the silence screamed a bit louder, and the loneliness was almost unbearable. I missed Sam — not just the love and the affection but the companionship. So, in a moment of desperation, my fingers dialed his number.
My heart pounded in my ears as the dial tone buzzed, a mix of anxiety and anticipation swirling in my stomach. I didn’t know what I was expecting, maybe an answer, perhaps his voice, maybe a chance to get back, just for a moment, into the familiarity of ‘us.’ But the universe had a different plan.
A Harsh Reality
When I called, I heard loud music and people laughing in the background instead of hearing Sam’s comforting voice. It sounded like he was at a party, and it made me cry silently on my end. It seemed like while I was at home thinking about our past, he was out, not worried, making new memories without me.
After the tough call, I was curious about what Sam was up to. So, even though I was still upset and crying, I went on Instagram to check his page using a different account. What I saw made my heart sink even more. There were pictures of Sam looking happy at a party, with friends and also with a new girl. It was really hard for me to see him like this.
It seemed like he was moving on and enjoying life while I was stuck feeling sad. But I couldn’t stop looking at all the photos and stories, even though they made me feel even worse. When the call ended, it felt like a chapter closed for me. It was hard to accept, but maybe I needed to see that reality.
Path to Healing
As dawn broke, a strange sense of calm settled over me. My eyes, puffy from the night’s tears, stared into the breaking day, and something within me clicked. It was as if seeing Sam happy, seeing him move on, flipped a switch inside me.
I realized I had been clutching at the memories of ‘us,’ building a fortress of ‘what ifs’ and ‘remember whens’ that kept me captive in my sorrow. It dawned on me that while I was living in the past, Sam was out there creating a future, living his life unapologetically. And maybe it was time for me to do the same.
The heart has a funny way of healing; sometimes, it finds solace in the most unexpected places and moments. After this, I found myself again, rediscovering old passions, exploring new interests, and, most importantly, learning to be happy on my own.
