Yes, Having A Pretty Face Is A Curse

There is a social cost of beauty

Daily Rants
3 min readJul 24, 2024

I remember one uncomfortable moment when a shopkeeper kissed me on the cheek while I was alone. My parents weren’t there, and I didn’t really understand what was happening or why. These early interactions made me feel both special and uneasy at the same time.

As I grew up, the attention didn’t stop. Relatives and family friends would often comment on my looks, sometimes in ways that felt too personal. This kind of attention made me very aware of my appearance from a young age. It was hard to tell if people liked me for who I was or just how I looked. This confusion often left me feeling isolated, as I wasn’t sure who to trust or how to respond to the constant attention.

Photo by kevin laminto on Unsplash

High School Scenes

High school was a time when my looks seemed to play an even bigger role in my social life. Classmates often asked me out, and it seemed like everyone wanted to be around me. While this might sound like a dream to some, it actually made it hard to know who was genuinely interested in me as a person.

I often wondered if my friends liked me for me or just for my appearance. This constant attention also brought about misunderstandings. Whenever I was just being friendly or smiling, people sometimes took it the wrong way, thinking I was flirting. This was not my intention at all, but it was hard to control how others interpreted my actions.

Workplace Interactions

At work, I faced similar challenges due to how others perceived my appearance. When I was friendly or helpful, some coworkers thought I was flirting. This wasn’t true at all. I just wanted to be a good teammate and make our workplace pleasant. But these misunderstandings made it difficult to just be myself without worrying about giving the wrong impression.

These issues also affected my professional relationships. It was hard to build trust when others might think my kindness was a way to get something in return. This made me feel lonely at work, as I had to keep a distance to maintain professional boundaries. It was a constant balance between being approachable and making sure people understood my true intentions were professional, not personal.

Public Perceptions as a Parent

Even as a parent, I continue to deal with people staring when I’m out, especially when I pick up my daughter from school. It feels like eyes are always on me, which can be really uncomfortable. I’m there as a mom, focused on my child, not to draw attention. Yet, the staring makes these simple outings stressful.

Other parents and even teachers sometimes misunderstand my friendliness. When I smile or chat, some think I’m trying to be more than just a friendly parent. This has made it tough to form friendships with other parents. It’s frustrating because all I want is to be part of the community and support my daughter, but these misconceptions keep getting in the way.

The Social Cost of Beauty

Being seen as attractive has often led to misinterpretations that cost me socially. When I’m nice to someone, it’s just because I want to be friendly. However, many people assume I have other motives. They think I’m flirting or trying to attract attention, which is not the case at all. This has made it challenging to just interact naturally without worrying about how others will perceive my actions.

These misunderstandings also affect my relationships with other women. Some think I behave in a certain way to attract men, which strains potential friendships. It’s hurtful when other women view me as a threat rather than a possible friend. I’ve missed out on many genuine connections because of these false perceptions, making it harder to find a supportive community where I can truly be myself.

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